We're regulars at casualties

My heart drops every time and I'm sure my hair is going to start going grey very soon, I hate hospitals and I especially hate Alberton hospitals because quite honestly they all have terrible service and the buildings are all old so they just feel unclean but luckily we live 2 minutes away from a hospital because we seem to live there at the best of times.

Saturday was supposed to be a chilled morning with Aiden and my sister, my parents were away for the weekend and Aiden was playing in my room with some books on a side table. My sister very calmly says to me, "Um, Jess, I'm sure he didn't eat it but one of my Epilepsy tablets are missing"

"Um, I'm pretty sure he blady well ate it because that's what kids do!"

We began searching for the tablet hoping it had just fallen off the table and not actually been swallowed by my little man. I couldn't find it and I just knew what he had done and I knew it was essentially my fault. What to do was the next question, it was a small dose and I wasn't sure if it was anything to worry about.

I started phoning the 2 hospitals to find out not that either could help, and they gave me the line for the Poison Centre, no answer there, tried calling my mid-wife or a pharmacy, finally my GP said it's best to take him to hospital he might need oxygen and need to be forced to throw up.

Mad rush to get dressed as this was at 8am, get baby bag packed and find a medical aid card and off to another round in casualties.

They were pretty efficient getting us through the normal schlep of getting through to the doctor's area but had a wonderful hour wait for a doctor to actually check if my drugged up child was going to be okay. With every minute that passed I watched Aiden get more high. His eyes were droopy and glazed and he was a mad thing with tons of energy, but then he started getting sleepy and the new task of keeping him awake started. You would think when a 11 month old comes in for eating pills that aren't his, a doctor would get off his ass and help but nope, we waited and waited and waited.

Eventually we saw one and he said I could go home they would admit him and monitor him, ja right, I politely told him that I had stayed in the paediatric ward a few times and there was no chance I would leave my son there alone. Much to his dismay, I stood firm on this and he gave me the option of monitoring him at home as long as I didn't let him sleep longer than an hour and watch his breathing, he would be fine and eventually this fluffy pink elephants he was obviously seeing would go away within 8 hours.

This week I will be baby proofing like a crazy, neurotic person and I will be keeping my eye on him every second of every day.

What I Love

So this year I joined the Blogger Secret Santa and we've been asked to do a post on what we love. You still have time to join us and you don't have to be a blogger and it will be fun and who doesn't love getting presents and giving presents and waiting for presents and and and...you only really need one reason, it's Christmas, get into the spirit already!

What I LOVE

• BIRDS, not real live birds, I'm not sure why, this obsession filled my heart a few years ago and my collection is growing.

• HEARTS, all you need is love right.

• Tea, we don't have family braai's we have family tea's thus my love for tea pots

• Strange love for stationery

• Anything old or looks old, your crap is probably my treasure

My favourite colour is green or silver, I love to write and always have space for another journal, I'm photo crazy and scrapbook every moment of life, I'm very feminine, love florals and lace, costume jewellery is the best but I don't wear earrings and you can always style kitsch into something worthy. 

My Little Swimmer

The wonderful people over at Huggies sent me a great little summer hamper and their Huggies Little Swimmer nappies to try out, I don't need to try out these nappies as I am already a fan and a Huggies Little Swimmer customer. Taking A to swimming lessons twice a week and him always being in the pool at home these nappies are great to stop any accidents from happening and the velcro sides make it easy to take on and off and with great pictures of Winnie the Pooh and Nemo on what more could you ask for.

Most parents are freaked out by water and trips spent out by a pool or on the beach so here are some tips on safe summer fun:

Swimming tips:

• ·        Start young —teaching your child to swim at this early age is a great way to make swimming second nature to them.
• ·        It is important to remember that learning to swim and the swimming pool is foreign territory for your child – don’t force them into doing anything that will cause fear. 
• ·        During swimming lesson time make sure things are kept fun and playful. Children’s attention spans are short, and water toys work wonders for the lesson. Swimming will come more naturally to children who are taught gently, without trauma, and with a sense of fun.
• ·        It is important to remember that a child will learn to swim eventually; just as all children learn to walk, some a little sooner, some a little later, but all do. Enjoy the process, enjoy the child’s achievements. Remember kids learn by playing so always make sure that pool time is fun for the little ones.
• ·        It is best to consult an expert when it comes to swimming lessons as they are trained.  Visit www.kidzworld.co.za to find a swimming school in your area.
• 
  

   Making sure you are prepared for your trip to the swimming pool or beach

• ·  If possible, before your first trip to the swimming pool, it’s worth ringing ahead to check if there is pram access and baby changing tables in the changing room.
• ·        Remember to bring a towel, preferably one with a hood to keep the little one warm if it’s cold outside.
• ·        Don’t forget sunscreen and a hat or some other type of covering such as an umbrella to protect your baby from the sun
• ·        Be sure to pack snacks, as swimming and active toddlers get hungry.
• ·        Bring along books or toys to keep the children occupied when they are not in the pool.
•      Also make sure to bring along your baby’s nappy bag that includes all of your baby’s essential items and of course Huggies® Little Swimmers® nappy.

How to stay safe while at the poolside

• ·        As soon as your toddler starts to shiver, make sure you get your baby out of the pool and wrapped up warmly. Start off with swim sessions of 10 minutes and build up to 20 minutes. If your baby is under 12 months, avoid staying in the water for longer than half an hour.
• ·        Your baby might have sensitive skin; check with your doctor to make sure the chlorine won’t irritate baby’s delicate skin. Remember a healthy measure of sunscreen should be applied whenever taking your child for a swim; your toddler’s skin is more sensitive to the sun and gets burned really easily.
• ·        If you have a pool at your house or your neighbours have pools, make sure it’s fully fenced with a latched gate and make sure the gate is securely locked at all times and for extra precaution it is suggested that the pool be covered with a swimming net. Don’t leave any toys in the pool when you are done swimming as your child might be tempted to go in to get them

Travelling Tips:

• ·        The pressure of take-off and landing when flying can hurt your baby’s ears.  It is important to remember to pack something that your baby can suck on.  It can be anything from a pacifier, to a lollipop or a bottle. 
• ·        If you're formula feeding, pack more formula than you think you'll need (keep in mind that there are restrictions on how much liquid you can carry on board a plane, so you might want to bring dry formula you can mix up)
• ·        When travelling on holiday expect delays. Whether travelling by car or plane, be sure to pack extra finger foods and bottles.
• ·        A bottle of water can be your best friend when travelling. Not only does it help with plane dehydration, but it's handy if you need to clean up spills.
• ·        Don't forget to pack plenty of diapers (including your Huggies® Little Swimmers® for swim time) and extra clothes for your baby; you never know when there will be an extra-messy diaper or meal. Be sure to make time for naps in between
• ·        If you're travelling in cold and/or potentially hazardous weather, be sure to pack emergency supplies, food, water, and blankets in the car.

Sex etc - A Religious post

For those who don't know I am a Christian, an unconventional Christian but I am a Christian non the less. To say that out loud sometimes isn't always wise as some people take a hundred steps back from you and immediately label you as judgemental and boring and I know this as I once labelled church goers and heavy Christians as judgemental and boring, I can't speak for your experiences or view points I can only speak about mine and from that I can stand and say the not judgemental, they far from boring and that stereotype is wrong.

When I fell pregnant I lost everything, friends, my dream career, my boyfriend and my love for life. I was so bored and so lonely I started going to church with my parents on Sunday morning, obviously keeping my pregnancy hidden as I knew I would never be accepted.

Wrong there to, a bunch of the youth leaders opened there arms and stood by me through my pregnancy and now are some of my closest friends, they care about me and more importantly they care about my son and I take great pride and it gives me great peace that my son will grow up around a great group of loyal and honest men.

A few of us are getting together once a week and going through a series called "Sex etc", whether you married, single or on the hunt, I would suggest it, you can download it here - Sex etc. Even after all I had been through with them I was still nervous to delve into this subject on a personal level and talk about my thoughts on the subject but once again proven wrong.

The point of this post is, I never looked at sex or marriage in this light before and I never realised how serious it was. Now having Aiden and him growing up in a broken home was an eye opener and I realised why God made that rule, but it's so much more than that and I wish the world hadn't made it just a game, just an appetite to feed and just something people do. I wish it wasn't so easy for people to walk out of marriages and hurt people they supposed to love, I wish the word 'family' meant more to people, I wish less children had to be collateral damage in adults escapades and I wish these things not for you to see or feel bad, I don't even expect anyone to understand, I simply wish I saw these things before, I wish I understood a long time ago but wishing doesn't change anything but choices from now can change my future.

Let your animals meet ours

If I lived in Cape Town this is where A and I would be, probably dragging my sister in toe, along with all my other friends with wee ones but alas I live in the grey city of Joburg where our fun things to do normally consist of a mall so I thought I'd share something I wish I could do with my little squid. So to those wonderful Capetonians who read my blog, hurry up now, tickets are selling out fast!

aSCAREium

Whether you're endlessly fascinated by the slimy hagfish, mesmerised by the always-in-costume devil firefish, enamoured by the hovering longhorn cowfish or simply amazed at the strangeness of our giant spider crabs, this month means one thing: fascination and fun at the aSCAREium on 27 October.

This is your opportunity to bond with your brood among our exhibits in a wonderful, wacky, wholesome atmosphere.

You and your little sea fans are invited to dress up – get those imaginations going and let your creativity run wild.

Then watch as your kids embrace the wonder of the oceans through interactive games, take-home arts and crafts, face-painting and magic shows.

And as everyone knows, after-hours the Aquarium takes on a life of its own …

Don’t miss the aSCAREium – the highlight of our social calendar.

Bookings are limited so secure your spot today: tickets cost R140 per child and R100 per adult. Click here to book now.

Softy is a legend

I love waking up to presents, even if the arrive at 7.30am and I have to go out in my very unflattering P.J's to go get it. The lovely folk over at Baby Soft sent me a Surfing Softy to start off my collection. Back in 2007 they had the Rugby pup in their packs of toilet paper, this time round for the months of October and November you can collect 3 different Softy's and your kids will love them and maybe will get them to stop nagging you for a real puppy for a short while.

First School Photo

Photo's were taken in August, it's been a long wait to get these back and although it's probably one of the worst photo's of A I absolutely love it! 

Thread of life

My darling little sister is in matric, now she will always be my little sister, even as I watch her becoming more of a woman every day I refuse to look at her as that and want her to be my little kid sister forever. I sometimes just stare at her as I watch her become her own and I know I have a few more months with her before she leaves for America and follows her own dreams, but that's another post all together, one that I am waiting to write without sobbing my eyes out, so it might never be written.

She takes Art as one of her final subjects and at the beginning of the year she was given the topic "Unexpected Beauty", she chose mine and Aidens story as her muse and this week she is being moderated. So far all I have to share is her Rational on her art pieces but will share pictures of her work when I can.

Seeing your life in someone else's eye's is always a good thing, but some of the things she said ripped my heart apart, she watched me break and she saw my pain and I, as an older sister should have shown her strength instead.

Thread of Life

Pregnancy is a gift, a gift that many don’t fully understand or comprehend. An accidental pregnancy is most often the worst of all to those whom experience it. As soon as I heard the theme of unexpected beauty was to be explored for this artwork I immediately think of my dear sister who fell pregnant at the beginning of 2011 unexpectedly. Nothing could explain the kind of fear, pain, and worry and hurt that my sister was feeling, not only because she was pregnant but because the man left. I remember everything clearly, I was there living it with her because we not just sisters but best friends. From my perspective of the situation that my sister faced, the moment it became real was the moment she saw the first scan.

The scan gives the visual of the baby that is growing inside, and with this visual everything becomes real. My artwork consists of two scans from my sisters pregnancy each connected by the thread of life which was how my sister connected with her unborn child. Although she might have felt emotional separation from her child, the umbilical cord connects them as if they were one. They were bonded in a special way that nobody could ever imagine. 

My Heart. My Child

My scans developed into a sculpture of the physical form of the pregnant body. The pregnant form is beautiful in its own way; it’s the form of creation. I wanted to express the feelings of how this form was to that of the woman experiencing a pregnancy that wasn’t wanted. This was why; within the walls of the outer layer are the words and stories from my sister’s blog “Miss Preggy.” which has now turned into “From there to hear.” Her stories are real and blunt of how she felt throughout the pregnancy, the words of a woman who knows what it felt like. My sculpture is rough and not completely clean on the edges which is because I wanted to make a point that although it’s a beautiful miracle, it’s not easy for a lot of woman because of the circumstances.

My artwork is of raw emotion which deals with something personal and dear to my heart. My artwork is for woman who felt too ashamed to share their story or too scared. My artworks were created for my sister in order to let her know that her story is beautiful and it might not go by the book of how things are to be done, but that it’s still a beautiful creation. Her unborn child was a life that was meant to be because all children are meant to be. Society has created a world where accidental pregnancies aren’t accepted but a shame. My art is there to show the beauty in that shame, the beauty in life.

You are my heart

I never even vaguely understood motherhood before I had my own. I was naive, I was selfish, I was young and I was completely unaware of what it meant and what it is to be a mother. I saw it as just something people did, crazy people did, crazy people who didn't have lives had children. I never understood the love or the relationship you had with your children

And now having Aiden I can't even begin to explain what motherhood is to any one else. I can't explain to my childless friends why it's the best thing that's ever happened, that I don't care that I can't go out till 4am, that it's okay that my body isn't 100% any more.

I can't find the words to explain why all the pain and betrayal was worth it. I can't explain why sacrificing my dream career in fashion doesn't even phase me. I can't tell you why a year with out sleep is torture but it's perfect torture.

The other night Aiden was on full blown over excitement and he was jumping around like a mad thing, I turned my attention for one second maybe even less and Aiden did a running, crawl, two-step wonder and flew off the bed, I have never moved so fast in my life, I saw him hit his head and roll over and land scrunch up, legs leaning on the cupboard. I was so worried he had hurt his neck, that he was concussed and I felt like the worst mother alive.

I sobbed and he sobbed and he calmed down and I sobbed some more, and some more and more.

My sister in turn was more worried about me than Aiden and she kept repeating, he is okay. She couldn't understand why I was so upset and I couldn't tell her.

I couldn't explain that this little boy fills my soul, that when he hurts I hurt, that if anything happened to this little being I could never carry on in life.

The only way I could say it was...

Aiden is my heart.

The Party Countdown

I'm a tiny bit OCD, okay maybe a bit more than tiny and when it comes to throwing parties I become obsessed. In my head it's one thing and even though everyone tells me you can never have what's in your head, I always make sure it becomes a reality.

Aidens birthday is in  3 weeks and for the most part I have everything done, invites have been made and handed out and yesterday I sat and after a hundred variations I finally got creating the monster faces on the buckets just how I pictured.

My poor family are going insane though as my frustrations fill the house, seeing as I have very few actual kids coming to the party they don't see the point, but I do and that's all that matters.

Doing it alone

Out of all the woman I know who have kids most are single moms or have been a single mom at some stage, either through divorce, the father leaving when they fell pregnant and some even walking away after they have held their beautiful baby.

It's sad.

And the fact that it's normal is even more sad.

Although I have accepted my life and situation and I think I do a superb job as a single mom and because I have never known any different I don't really have anything to compare it to but there is still this pain. I think it's pain from knowing this is going to hurt my child and it's confusing because I'll just never understand how you can not want to be a part of your child's life and not willingly want to support your child financially, emotionally and physically. 

There is also a bond with the father of your child, I'm hoping it grows less with time, I in no shape or form have any feelings left for D, I don't even have respect for him and most days I don't really even like the person he is but he's still A's father and there probably will always be a piece of me that wishes he would care more for A, I will always care for his well being and I truly hope he sorts his life out and I will also always have a sense of anger towards him for doing what's he's done without a smidgen of guilt. 

One of the most irritating things as a single mom to hear is woman with husbands or partners say they are exactly like single moms, I agree motherhood it's hard all around and I am far from being hard done by and I have an amazing support structure but I am still going at this alone. It's not necessarily the amount of nappies their men changes (just remember one he does is one more than a single mom) but it's having that someone to lean on, to share with and also having that one person who understands when you say your child's a monster because he's teething, that person understands exactly what you mean and what you going through, because well you are not alone.

With this being said, I have thought a lot about marriage, I can't stand here and say I will never do it, I said that with kids and look where I am now but I don't know any more if it's the "right" way of doing things or at least maybe not the "normal" way of doing things any more. 

I was thinking in order for me to correct the mess I made and the situation A is growing up in, I need to look for a husband and a mortgage and to show A the right way of doing things is by doing that. I'm not so sure any more. I'm not sure that just because that's normal that it is 100% right. I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way to have a family. Family is about love and care and support and encouragement and A has that, A has that in buckets full. 

I'm doing the parenting thing alone and yes it's hard but it doesn't mean it's wrong and it doesn't mean I have less in life, it just means I'm not what society defines as a conventional family and I'm okay with that.

Aiden got his first haircut :(

Aiden has really nice hair and for some strange reason something told me I had to get it cut. His hair was messy, and stood in every direction but I loved it and now I don't. I won't be cutting it again for a while, he'll be one of those kids with a good mop on his head because I hate boys with short, back and sides.

Any ways he loved the process, loved the car he sat in and was pretty good for the cut. I even got a certificate for his first hair cut and a few pieces of his locks. I'm still sad though.

See look at that hair, so cute

See it's all gone :'(

Mommy Bootcamp

After having a baby my body just hasn't gone back to what it was, I hate it and often feel insecure and don't have the same confidence I once had. I know with eating right and exercise and I can change it but often finding time and someone to look after A so I can gym is challenging, especially as a single mom.

The great people at Adventure Boot Camp are launching a Mom's & Tots bootcamp, the next one starts the 22 October and registration needs to be done by this Friday 12 October, this one is taking place in Cape Town and if it does well they will bring it to Joburg so please Cape Town moms take part so they can bring this my side. It's twice a week, on a Tuesday and Thursday morning for an hour from 9.45,it's a 4 week camp and all you need is you, a baby and a pram.

The idea of Adventure Boot Camp for New Moms is to use your baby’s pram as your fitness equipment and partake in exercises that rely on the pram and the natural environment to get you back in shape. Your baby will be with you at all times which eliminates the need for a babysitter and as you are in an engaging outdoor environment, there will be plenty to keep your little one stimulated.

Register Now, go here!

11 Months then you 1!

A is 11 Months today, one more little month and he will be one, I'm so excited and so sad all at the same time. I can't wait for his party and I can't wait to spoil him on his actual day but when I look at him I am so sad that my little baby is gone and there is this little boy in front of me.

My child's been taken over by an alien

A & I camping on his floor.

I never thought in a million years I would utter the words, I love being a mom, maybe that isn't the right words, I love being Aiden's mom, I love my son and he keeps me smiling especially on the bad days.

Even with all the crappy times that comes with motherhood, it really is the best thing I've ever done and I would never change it even if sent a magic lamp, okay maybe his father would change (low blow I know)

However the last two weeks have been my second round of teething. A is getting his two top teeth and honestly during teething, my thought process of I love being Aiden's mother goes into, "I wish crèche was seven days a week, including nights!"

This time around he didn't projectile vomit on me, him and my bedding every night, no runny tummy either but man my son is a terror. I don't even recognise him. He is a complete whining, moaning and unfriendly creature and sleep is just not on his to-do list any more.

The last two nights Aiden and I have been sleeping on his bedroom floor with the door closed, that way when he wakes up to play, scream and attack me, he has a whole room to play in safely and when he's done he comes and sleeps next to me again.

Sounds crazy I know, but when A's teething he won't sleep in his cot so I awake to him sitting on my side tables happily throwing all my shit off, or he is playing with my hair and sometimes sticking his finger up my nose, he's always one step away from trying to be Superman and jumping off the bed so I thought maybe until the second tooth cuts it would be safer to just camp out on the floor.

Next round of teething I am planning on going away, my mom will just wake up to a child on her floor with a note saying, "See you soon!"

Mompreneur Breakfast

Last week my mom and I attended the Mommy Matters Mompreneur Breakfast in Melrose Arch. It exceeded my expectations. I finally got to meet Jess and Kathy, founders of Mommy Matters and I also got incredibally inspired by an amazing group of woman.

We all got to stand up and introduce ourselves and what we do (sweaty hands from public speaking, oh and I think a lot of ums), A yummy breakfast and a talk from a life coach from FAB MOMS and then of course prices, where I won a MOM diary for 2013.

If you missed this one not to worry the next one in Joburg is the 31 October and if you in Cape Town, 24 October, for more info go here.

Photos taken from the Mommy Matters site and were done by "Janelle Sheehan photography"