You don't get to choose

When you have a child you don't get to choose...

You don't get to choose when you want to be a parent.

You don't get to choose when you want to wake up.

You don't get to choose when you want to pee.

You don't get to choose when you want to bath.

You don't get to choose when you want to sleep in.

You don't get to choose when you can have a Sunday nap.

You don't get to choose when you'll sleep through the night again.

You don't get to choose when your kid will stop throwing tantrums.

You don't get to choose to cop out.

You don't get to choose when you having a bad day to stop being attentive.

It's a child, a child that relies on you.

He relies on your love daily.

He relies on you to bath him.

To feed him.

To dress him.

To make his juice.

To change his nappies.

To take him to school.

To fetch him from school.

To listen.

To pay his bills.

To comfort him.

To play with him.

To discipline him.

Not some days or when you feel like it, every minute of every day you are a parent and if you not ready for that don't have one. 

I have a pocket full of change

My entire life is up in shambles at the moment. In both good ways, bad ways and sad ways. Everything is changing, my life is being redesigned and hopefully in a few months it will be flowing again with routine and structure. I like plans and schedules, not a huge fan of living in the moment, I need to plan the moments and always have full control or I go a bit dilly.

First big change my darling sister left for the big USA. Now if you have read this blog for any amount of time you'll now that she is a huge part of my life and my heart. It broke my heart to say goodbye and I often cry when i think of her but as sad as it is I am happy for her and so proud that she's brave enough to follow her dreams. She's off au pairing for a family with 10 children, crazy right.

I'm taking the leap and moving out of my parents home. I have lived on my own before but not since falling pregnant. Im scared to say the least but also super excited. On top of just moving out, im moving out with my boyfriend, we have discussed our future and what it holds and it's right for us regardless if peoples judgements.

Aiden is moving school's.  This decision made me toss and turn at night for weeks. I'm worried about too much change all in one go but I'm not happy with his current school so praying I made the right decusion and he takes to everything well.

It's all a lot right now but it's all finally coming together.