Certifiable

Some days I really don't know how I do all this.

Some days I just close my eyes and imagine I am sitting on a secluded beach, with an extremely strong cocktail in my hand and absolute silence.... this dream is normally broken by the sound of drums, stepping on a dinosaur leg or the putrid smell of my kids ass.

Some days I wonder how I am going to make it to the end of the month financially and curse the man who won't help raise his son.

Some days I think I could fall asleep standing up, the bags under my eyes are as obvious as a druggies and I hold back tears of exhaustion because it's only 2pm and it's still a good 6 hours till bedtime.

Some days I really think I could be going crazy because some days I just don't think I can do this.

As you can tell, I'm having one of those days.

I got maybe 4 hours sleep last night, and if it was 4 hours straight sleep I would be swinging off the roof tops but it's broken sleep and then wake up to a child that has decided his terrible two's is going to start early, my little monsters new thing is throwing himself to the floor and screaming when he doesn't get to do what he wants, between the temper tantrums which I simply walk away from because hells bells there's no way I'm putting up with that, there's his drums, he loves them and on a good day so do I, at 7am when I am trying to dress him for school and in between every item of clothing he rushes off to bang them with utter passion, this is when I loathe them, I also had a good cry when I realised our maid that we have let go has stolen my month's supply of wet wipes, a whole month!

It's only 8am and I'm already ready to climb back under the duvet and write this day off.

Then I remember why I do every thing I do, I count my blessings, put a smile on my face even if it's not a real one and I move on, fight harder and make the day a good one!