Fighting for MY child

Here's the problem with having a child out of wedlock, it's not the baby, that is a blessing, a blessing so wonderful and perfect that it erases all pain and regret. The problem is the ex, the man you could easily walk away from and never even think of again, yes that man is in your life till the day you die. Even if he isn't physically there, he's there, in the back of your head, the pain in your heart, in the out the blue text messages, the random phone calls and in the threats, that one day he can just walk in and see his son after months of not being there, after never paying, the fear that after all you have done he still has a right to decide what school Aiden goes to, what Religion I allow him to practice and even what clothes I put him in.

I went through pregnancy alone, I went through the terror's of a new born baby alone, I went through PND alone, I went through hospital stays alone, I have footed the bill since that plastic pee stick alone, I haven't slept in 16 months, I have changed all the nappies, made all the bottles, done all the school drops and pick ups, I have wiped all the snotty noses, read all the bedtime stories, I was there for all the first moments and all the first words, me, it was all me, this is my son, in no shape or form has Aiden had a father for the last 16 months and it makes me feel physically ill when I hear people call him Aiden's dad because the truth is he is nothing more than a sperm donor.

To say I am angry is an understatement, but wait I wouldn't call it anger, I have become numb to it, I am in disbelief that this is even happening, that I even have to fight for something that is rightfully mine, I am his mother, I am raising him, I have been raising him and now I have to proof to a bunch of strangers that my family and I is what is best for Aiden, I have to spend thousands doing this, hours doing it and hundreds of tears to get me through. 

How is it fair or just. 

He wavered his rights the minute he walked away but now 16 months down the line he can just go about and turn our entire lives upside down because somewhere along the line some fool decided to give men 50% rights to their children, any man, even though most men are dead beat dads, somebody actually made this law.

Somebody decided for my child that it's best to have an unstable, selfish, stoner father come in and out of his life. Yes that's what's best for my child apparently and if I think otherwise for my child then I must fight it and I must fight it as a single mom who gets no maintenance. 

This all makes perfect sense.