Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Always a single mom at heart

From the minute I fell pregnant I was alone in the parenting world. I was thrown into a life I wasnt ready for, so instead of learning how to be a parent with someone to share it with I learnt how to do it alone, I never knew any different and I still dont really.

I have always done every nappy change, made every bottle, done every night duty, every bath time and so on and so on. My body, my brain and my heart became a single mom I adjusted my lifesyle to this way of thinking and I think once you've been a single mom that feeling of being one will always be there or maybe just the fear of being one again comes into play.

I met an amazing man, a man that loves not only me but my son as well. He has taken off pressure by helping with bath time, night shifts, bottle making and school drop offs. I've had more Sunday naps now than I have since having Aiden. He truly is a blessing and I am truly grateful for his love.

I still call myself a single mom though, maybe its the sense of responsibility that comes with a child, the guilt and the emmense love. Maybe because I'm not ready to share, I feel like I have done so much alone and he is mine and I'm proud of everything I have accomplished alone.

I'm hoping this feeling will subside, I'm hoping I'll be able to drop down my walls and allow him in fully and I'm hoping the fear of Aiden and I being abandoned again will disappear.


  1. Oh hon. I've been a single mom for 7 of the 8 years of my kid's life. I still - when things get bad or troublesome, go back to that inner steel that reminds me that I can do life alone if I have to.

    It took me a LONG LONG LONG time to let go and believe that my life was a partnership now, and not just a long struggle. Honestly, it took me 2 years to believe it, and another year to "get used to" it. I still battle with it some days.

    But it is good X

  2. David and I are married now and I still say "the big kids and I" - it is a hard transition to make! My kids also have issues and when we fight or if he is late they get a little anxious! And he has been in our lives for 4 years!

    I also wrote a post about this a few years ago - I think once you are a single mother you are always one - no matter where life takes you :)

    BUT YAY YOU!!! For having such an awesome man!!!!