Random Poop

A topic mothers seem to never be able to stay away from. I generally only talk about it when it's absolutely hilarious mainly because I don't know what every shade means, poop is poop to me. Anyways I got this book at my baby shower, I have never read it (sorry if you bought it) it's basically a random reference for the modern parent. I when I say random I mean random.

So here's some randoms about poop

First words for a bowel movement


Aa Aa (German)
caca
do-do
dobby
dong (Korean)
doo
doodie
doo-doo
dookie
dookie doo
jobby (Glaswegian)
kaka
kakashka (Russian)
keech (Glasgow)
kuso (Japanese)
pichin (Spanish & Italian)
plonk (Norwegian)
poop poopie
poopoo
poopsey
poopsters
tahi (Malay)
tutti (Hindi)
uchra (Arabic)
unko Japanese)
yukky

Things I Know - About Me

• I constantly have a secret love affair with the wrong decisions
• I am only jealous when it comes to my mother and her love and attention, I don't want to share her.
• I am addicted to Peanut Butter 'n Jelly sandwiches
• I come across as a cold person, I have a hundred walls and rarely let people in (I know, strange I'm so honest on my blog)
• I love stationery, note books, sketch books, letter writing kits and boxes - I have so many I never use and probably never will.
• My love language is "Gifts" - I spoil just as much as I love being spoiled.
• I throw beautiful party's and I know it and I love it and I am proud of it.
• I'm a really shitty pregnant woman and that's okay.
• I swear like a sailor.
• I can drink and smoke like one to.

Things I Know - That Frustrate Me

• People who drive the in the yellow line during a traffic jam, I seriously am tempted to smash into them as they drive past.
• Old people, even old people I love, even old people who live in my back yard.
• Call center agents, especially Cell C ones, they ruin my day and I think I've ruined a good few of there's this week to, will be ruining some more if they don't put my phone back on.
• Store Policies, no bending of rules on these policies even though the reason they would have to bend them is because of there lack of service to begin with.
• People who don't RSVP, not the ones who I know are coming, they normally always around, the people who still think maybe they coming so it's like they just waiting to see what else might come up first, rather don't come the invite was out of courtesy anyways.
• People who take over, I will hang my baby's clothes from the ceiling if that's how I want it, get yourself knocked up and make your own nursery (not you mom or Casey)
• Phone calls after 7pm at night.
• Phone calls on Sundays
• Guilt trips, they don't work on me, they just irritate me so much I'm going to do it again just to piss you off.

Things I Know

I have had one hell of a week and there is only one thing I know for sure this week

• I LOVE MY SON

Things I Know - Emotional warfare

I'm on attack at the moment, be afraid very, very afraid. These are the apologies I know I need to make.

• Keith, I love you, I refused to help him at work and used very disgusting language to express my hate for  my job, working with family and how I just don't care ( later on that day, he was held up by gunpoint, my guilt - times 1000)
• D, for no reason what so ever beside the obvious but still no real reason as we have all moved on and are comfortable with our situation, (mantra), I lashed out at his character, uselessness and brought up behavior and words used over the last 7 months. Maybe true but nothing good came out of it but anger and taking of steps backwards.
• Mom, you on holiday, you deserve a break from everything, especially me, but I hate it when you away, I need you all the time but it doesn't excuse my terrible behavior with you on the phone. Don't feel guilty I was just being a bitch, now go have a cocktail on the beach.
• Dad, now he is a big scary man and I call him a bear, because he is one especially when mad. He only talks once and back chatting is not acceptable, he's just someone who expects respect and gets it and I generally do to mostly because anything else would be like getting blood out of a stone. However this week I was blatantly rude on a few occasions and because I'm pregnant and ill I get away with this behavior. I'm kind of like a 3 year old with puppy dog eyes at the moment.
• Customers, or what I think used to be customers. I should be banned from answering the phones. I do apologize, we are the best and do deliver, and it's not your fault you ask such trivial and stupid questions, over and over again.
• Aiden, I do love you, but it hurts when you kick me in my ribs, and you make me ill in the mornings and you making your mother fat. So those thoughts you sometimes hear are out of frustration and they probably just going to get worse over the next 10 weeks.

Things I Know - about having a baby

• I know I don't know much
• Breastfeeding is free
• Formula is damn expensive
• Breastfeeding - every 2 hours
• Formula - every 4 hours
• Gripe water is amazing

That's all I know, I'm in trouble, oh shit, panic attack!!!

(My dad read my blog for the first time tonight, he's paying for antenatal classes! So no need to panic about my baby everybody.)

Things I Know - Today

• My baby bump is getting huge


• You cant wait for things to happen...they don't


• Family is the most important thing in life


• I hate morning sickness


• I found out my sons due date is the year anniversary of mine and D's love story beginning


• I think I'm suffering from depression or denial


• I love my Son


• I'm shit scared of the future


• I don't want to go through child birth of any kind


• I miss tequila and jager


• I miss my smile (the real one and what it feels like)

Thing I know

Things I Know - I still want 

• I want a successful clothing line


• I want to go to New York


• I want to go to the East


• I want to trust again


• I want a truly happy child


• I want a house in Joburg and in Cape Town


• I want a Pot-Belly Pig


• I want to run a marathon


• I want to go to a high tea

I'm sure there are a lot more but that's all the Things I know for now.

Things I Know

I found this on Harassed mom and thought I'd carry on the trend. Every Friday you list the things you know. I'm thinking this is great because I always list the things I do not know. There are a few rules so follow with the link below.

Yay for home

Things I know - That make me HAPPY

• My sister makes me laugh everyday


• When Peanut kicks the shit out of me


• Chocolate and coffee


• My mom


• Summer arriving


• Surprises and presents


• My closest friends


• New clothes


• Books


• The smell of books


• Bubbles