Things I Know - Emotional warfare

I'm on attack at the moment, be afraid very, very afraid. These are the apologies I know I need to make.

• Keith, I love you, I refused to help him at work and used very disgusting language to express my hate for  my job, working with family and how I just don't care ( later on that day, he was held up by gunpoint, my guilt - times 1000)
• D, for no reason what so ever beside the obvious but still no real reason as we have all moved on and are comfortable with our situation, (mantra), I lashed out at his character, uselessness and brought up behavior and words used over the last 7 months. Maybe true but nothing good came out of it but anger and taking of steps backwards.
• Mom, you on holiday, you deserve a break from everything, especially me, but I hate it when you away, I need you all the time but it doesn't excuse my terrible behavior with you on the phone. Don't feel guilty I was just being a bitch, now go have a cocktail on the beach.
• Dad, now he is a big scary man and I call him a bear, because he is one especially when mad. He only talks once and back chatting is not acceptable, he's just someone who expects respect and gets it and I generally do to mostly because anything else would be like getting blood out of a stone. However this week I was blatantly rude on a few occasions and because I'm pregnant and ill I get away with this behavior. I'm kind of like a 3 year old with puppy dog eyes at the moment.
• Customers, or what I think used to be customers. I should be banned from answering the phones. I do apologize, we are the best and do deliver, and it's not your fault you ask such trivial and stupid questions, over and over again.
• Aiden, I do love you, but it hurts when you kick me in my ribs, and you make me ill in the mornings and you making your mother fat. So those thoughts you sometimes hear are out of frustration and they probably just going to get worse over the next 10 weeks.