Bad Humour - I know

Father: “When you go back to your Mom’s tonight, give her this envelope. Tell her that since you are now 18 this is the LAST check she’ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face.”

Daughter: “OK.”

Later….

Daughter: “Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I’m now 18 this is the LAST child support payment he’ll ever have to make to you. Now I’m supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face.”

Mother: “Next time you visit your father tell him that after 18 years I have decided to inform him that he’s not your father. Then, stand back and watch the expression on HIS face.

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The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,
“I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”

The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear?” she asked.

The little boy replied, “I heard Daddy tell mommy that he would climb the fucking walls if you came to visit us again.”

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Once there was this family of Storks, the momma stork the daddy stork and the little baby stork.

One night the daddy stork leaves and doesn’t come back till late the next morning. The baby stork very curious askes the father where he was. The father told the son he was making a young couple very happy.

A few months later the mother stork leaves and again doesn’t come back till late the next morning. The baby still curious asks his mother where she was all night! The mother tells the baby she was out making a young couple very happy.

A few months pass and after dinner the baby stork announces that he’ll be “right back.” Well he doesn’t return to late the next morning. The parents frantic with worry ask him where he was.To which he says, Out scaring the shit out of some college couple!