Friday, May 17, 2013

Between the madness

Sometimes you just have to come to accept that life is just crazy, things are going to continuously go wrong, life is manic, it has it's downs but then it has it's ups and in between the madness is where you find the sweet joys of life and it's where happiness can be found.

Aiden is in a terrible phase right now, he is pushing boundaries to the fullest and he is quite literally driving me insane. He smacks and throws tantrums, he says "NO" to almost every request, he throws food and climbs on the most dangerous devices. He grabs things out your hand and throws things at your head. He is deviant. He has a temper. He is stubborn. He is exactly like me.

Along with this phase, he is talking so well, words are just flying out his mouth and he is trying to build sentences and it warms my heart. He is starting to really love you back, he gives the biggest hugs especially if he sees me crying. His eyes light up when someone wants to play ball with him and he races around on his little black bike for hours. Every morning when I walk into his room he is smiling at me and looks at me with so much joy. He is the light in my life.

My custody issues are far from over. It causes me a great deal of stress and heart ache. It's like running in the same dark, scary circle over and over again and all you do is keep ending up at the beginning again and it never ends. And with all that we have heard yet another handful of promises of visits and financial help just for it to fall away again, not that I ever believed it to be true just find it fascinating how one would waste their breath on so many lies.

I have a great man in my life, in our lives, he loves us both, and he is helpful and encouraging and supportive. He makes me laugh and he makes Aiden laugh and he always talks about our future. He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and he's taken to Aiden like you can't believe. He's always there lifting me up when I'm ready to give up and always ready to help with small mundane tasks when he sees I'm exhausted. I am really one lucky girl.

Work is drowning us at the moment, but that is only a good sign, our business is blossoming and I couldn't be more proud of how far we have come in the last year. We have been truly blessed with enough work to make sure we are comfortable and besides from a week here and there where the occasionally "having a child" is extra expensive we are doing really well.

We are super busy at the moment and don't have a minute to spare and for a while our lives have just consisted of work and cuddles in bed. And I am loving every minute of it.

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