I missed you all

Took a little break from everything last week, and to my surprise I missed you all, granted I don't know who all of you are and maybe there isn't really anyone but I did none the less and I'm back. Had quite a crazy and scary week but also a good one, coz really thought about things with all my free time.

Where to start, where to start, well I'm having a boy as you all know already. It was such a perfect moment, I cried tears of joy and for that moment I felt like everything was going to be alright. I was on a happiness high for the rest of the day. At the scan they picked up an infection and we did so many blood tests (needle phobia) and was told to take TLC for the weekend. Now for me when a doc says TLC i think I can still do everything I was planning on doing but just take it easy while doing it. Not really the case. Monday morning I woke up feeling half dead and in so much pain. I called and was told to get into bed and stay there this time till my anti biotics was completed. Even if I didn't want to, my bed was all that my body wanted. I was so worried and scared but at the same time to sick to really think about it. By Wednesday I was still flat out so called the doctors office again and this time my blood results were in. Pregnancy diabetes, honestly how many pregnancy symptoms do I have to deal with, Hyperglicemia, low blood sugar levels. You gotta love it, it will go away after my pregnancy, but till then this is how I'm going to feel and to keep it short that would be like complete shit. I have to eat every 2-3 hours and always have sweets in my handbag and try not faint. So there's a new rule if you out with me and I randomly sit on the floor you all have to join in and make snow angels no matter where we are.

I felt Peanut move, and now he won't stop. He loves to bath and loves the music at church, goes crazy when I eat A LOT and kicks me when I try and bend. He's growing over night and I officially look like a pregnant woman and I am feeling my most unattractive. It's actually become quite humorous, guys always look but now they look and then the look down and then they get all shy and start bobbing there heads around not knowing what to do. All I want to do is shout, yeah, one of you did this, one of you looked at me that exact way and 2 months later I was like this.

Peanut will be known as Peanut till further notice, we have chosen a name but we aren't telling anyone because there are just to many opinions. We both sent lists of names we liked and funny enough the name we both loved the most was on each others list so it wasn't that hard. Second name is in honour of someone and the name is in both our family's so again not so hard. The surname however, has become my latest stress. I've heard everyone say Darell doesn't deserve to get his surname but is that what's best for my son or is that because everybody wants to punish Darell. One day I'm gonna get married, then my name changes then my son won't have my surname or his fathers, that doesn't seem right. Darell left but he came back in a month just like I knew he would and has been at every scan and paid his way, yes he's been an ass in between but trust me I can be a bitch. I know with all my heart he's going to be there for his son, if nothing else he is a great father and he's kids are his world. I told him if I do decide to make him a Smith there will be legal documents deleting those few extra rights everybody says he will get and my surname will still be in the name just not last. One day I'm decided the next day I am not. I really need to find out how I can go about finding out my rights, I don't care about surnames all I want is to make sure he can't take away my son and I also want to know what age do I have to start letting him take him over night or at all for that matter. Anybody know?