Tomorrow is the big day, I don't think I'll ever be this excited for anything ever again, I think even my wedding day will feel so mediocre to what I'm feeling right now. I think that's why you supposed to do these things in a traditional fashion and do the wedding first but oh well since when did I ever do anything in my life conventionally.
At the moment I'm quite enjoying being pregnant, lets not get to ecstatic now, it's still not the most fun I've ever had and it's no walk in the park, but the morning sickness is completely gone and I have tons of unexplained energy (which is a new feeling for me as I have arthritis and struggle with chronic fatigue) thanks to the fortune I spent on skin care I've finally cleared up and so far, touch wood, the only thing thats grown in size is my belly.
I think now between my dark days you'll be happy to come visit me and finally get some cute and fluffy as from Saturday morning the nursery of every kid's (lets face it it's more for us) dream. The one wall will be a huge mural, a jungle for a boy and fairy land for a girl. The hunt for furniture will begin, I don't care if I never use the wooden cot, I'm getting one. I'm also starting to create a baby blanket of note, I'm getting everybody to write Peanut a message and I'm going to print it on individual squares and sew it all together. At the moment it looks like it's going to turn into a queen size duvet, probably a king size though.
Even though I'm so excited and for the most part happy, tomorrow isn't going o be all sunshine, Darell and I haven't spoken in 3 weeks and the last time we did the words were harsh to say the least. It's going to be awkward and disappointing that I have to share this moment with somebody who, lets face it, really doesn't give a shit about me. There's the other thing that he is the kind of person who will bring the wonderful Natalie with just to proof to me he is the man and he is in control. I know I shouldn't let him get to me but in the moment I'm sure it will and the last scan I ended up crying for hours.