Monday, July 18, 2011

What goes up must come down

Just as things were running fairly smoothly, it all came crashing down again. Not all things huge problems some actually just small annoyances but together one big F*ck up. There are some up's in between but because there's good things and bad things and okay things, my brain is getting so confused and I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy or sad or angry or excited. A lot of it could just be pregnancy but somehow I doubt it.

The one thing I unfortuantly can't even write on my blog, sorry, I know how irritating that is, I hate it when people say I have a secret but I can't tell you. Rather just don't tell me you have a secret. Well this isn't a secret just a situation that can't be discussed until it's been sorted out. So if you pray, pray or give it to the universe, light a candle or rub Buddha's belly, I need all of it and fast.

Now I know why you don't organise your own baby shower, it's hard work, when your list is on 100 people and counting, it's even harder, when you have to fit all these people in your back yard it's even harder, when you have to combine two family's who have never even met and are all complete opposites, it's even harder, when it's in 2 months and you have done exactly nothing towards it, it starts to become a disaster.

I'm 5 and half months pregnant, I have exactly nothing for my baby, no crib, no pram, no car seat, no baby monitor, shit I don't even have one baby bottle. I have no idea what I need, can't they make a book that list's what you need to get and why so you can tick it off as you go.

Peanut thinks it's funny to start kicking me until I wake up, this is at 4.30 in the morning, every morning and he does this till I wake up and have no way of falling back to sleep. This has resulted in me going to bed a t 8.30 which in turn cuts my day in half and I'm getting even less done than before. Another joy of pregnancy I have realised is I have had my gums bleed when I brush my teeth for a while and my doc said it's normal. However it has turned into a horror movie, my mouth actually fills with blood, me trying not to gag from the taste and they carry on bleeding once I've rinsed. I am now terrified of brushing my teeth in the morning, oh and have I mentioned the swollen ankles... it looks like I have cankles most of the time.

If my brain actually functioned like it was supposed to I would be able to remember everything else I had to share but that's unfortuantly also gone down the drain. Maybe this is a good thing that I only remember my life in portions, deal with one thing at a time.

I do however love feeling Peanut move, I am loving the thought of what the nursery room will look like and am looking forward to my non existent baby shower. I'm going to visit all my amazing friends in Cape Town in 2 weeks, I realised there's a lot of fish in the sea and even though I have a baby I still have hope at finding my fairy tale or something like it. I have the most amazing family and my ass has gotten smaller since I fell pregnant.

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