Happy Mothers Day

Yes guys, I know Justin Bieber but just listen, I hope my son loves and appreciates me so much when he's older.

Happy Mothers Day

Murphy's Law stole my weekend

Just a little while ago I was complaining I had nothing to do, I was bored out of my mind and stressing that I would never get more work in and Aiden and I would become beach bums begging for small change at the robots.

My mom had surgery a little while ago so for the last 6 weeks, we have taken to the ultra lazy life of lying in bed with Aiden till 10am, watching T.V, making lists and sorting out our house that is starting to look like a hoarders paradise.

So I signed up for a course, a Digital Marketing course through Quirk Education, organised my nanny (who is now the maid because Felicity is still not back) to watch Aiden twice a week so I can study. My mom goes back on Monday so we have been enjoying our last few days of freedom.

Then Murphy's Law came flying out of no where and stole our lives from us in one nasty little swoop.

This course is amazing but it is hectic and you need to put a lot of time into it, and bouncing baby on one knee while reading a chapter on Market Research is not ideal. Every Monday is deadline day for our assignments at a very early 10am.

I have a great opportunity coming up and it sounds like so much fun, but I have to produce a blog post once a week on demand, which always seems so much harder but I am up for the challenge. First one needs to be in Tuesday.

Our books we were working on at the beginning of the year have made it through submission but the Government is demanding changes and have to be re-printed and sent through by Friday, that means we have to colour in story books, layout and edit pictures for books and add a few new books that need to be set and designed by Monday-Wednesday.

This is how Murphy steals your weekend, I am not complaining, I am loving it, the learning, new challenges and great money is all I have been asking for but all in a matter of 5 days is presenting a bit of a challenge. I am so desperate for every second I am paying my sister a staggering R200 to babysit for 6 hours today, D is coming for a few extra hours on Mothers Day (this was not a gift, more me begging and pleading for a little help after I carried and gave birth to his first born son and all) so here I am attempting the time crashing impossible.

Wish me luck.

Thank You, Thank You

I see the 'Versatile Blogger Award' is running around again. I was nominated by the lovely Spirited Mama. It is always a wonderful feeling being acknowledged by your peers and I always love to know that there are new and old readers spending time over here at Miss Preggy and finding it exciting enough to come back to listen to all my rants and raves.

7 Facts About Me

1. I studied Fashion Design at LISOF
2. I have a brother named Keith, I think I only seem to mention my sister.
3. I have very little patience, actually none, along with this comes a fiery temper.
4. I am the smoker who always wants to quit.
5. I am a quiet person actually, it takes a while to get to know me.
6. I love books, my mom's house has always looked like a library growing up.
7. My biggest downfall is believing there is good in everybody.

Nominate 15 Blogs I follow:

1. Raising Men
2. Cupcake Mummy
3. There's a Lionheart in our Bathtub
4. Remember When
5. Harassed Mom
6. One of the Boys
7. Reluctant Mom
8. ZA to CH
9. A Bullet Lace in Anger
10. Tails of a Mermaid
11. Crappy Pictures
12. Dear Max
13. A Memoir - Growing up in an Alcoholic Home
14. Bleu Bird Vintage
15. Emma Jane Nation

Some good things

Life has been really crappy for a while now, sometimes I try recall someone in my family breaking a mirror or something because it's been a few years now. Every time we get over one tragedy or at least learn how to manage it, another lemon gets thrown at us and hits us slap bang in the middle of our forehead.

I was in a really dark place a few weeks ago, I was crying all the time, and at everything. You know those unexplained tears when you pregnant, exactly like those, except I'm not pregnant.

I was driving with my mom and we listed all the bad things that have happened over the last two years, the list was long, very long. It made me stop though and think why are we listing the bad things, we should be focusing on the good things.

So here's a list of good things, great things, things I am focusing on.

1. I have a beautiful, healthy and happy son (this could start and finish every list)
2. I am doing a Digital Marketing course through Quirk Education
3. Mine and my mom's business is being registered and the name has been approved so Eleventh Hour is almost up and running.
4. A great brand has contacted me about my blog.
5. A very kind lady that follows my blog and we talk on twitter bought me a year subscription to 'Your Baby' magazine.
6. We just got in our first job for our business.
7. My granny is still in remission.
8. I have signed up for a 10km Marathon in November.

Okay I now it's not a very long list and I could write a killer list of all the shit in my life and what's happened but I am trying here. Baby steps. 

Most Amazing Muffins

I don't bake a lot and I very rarely try something before I have tasted them. I normally wait till somebody makes something and I love it and then I get the recipe and it has to be blow-my-mind good before I even think of going to the trouble. One of the ladies from my mom's cell group makes these Bran Muffins, I love muffins but Woolworths does great ones so why make them. Well these I am made yesterday, because they are that awesome. Here's the recipe, if you do make them and you end up loving them please let me know.

Bran Muffins

• 3 Cups Kellogg's All Bran Flakes ( I used Special K)
• 1 Cup Boiling Water
• 2 Eggs, lightly beaten + 1 teaspoon Caramel Essence
• 2 Cups Buttermilk
• Half Cup Sunflower oil
• 250g Chopped Pitted Dates
• 2 and a half Teaspoons Bicarb
• Half Teaspoon Salt
• 1 Cup Sugar
• 2 and a half Cups Flour
• Sprinkle: Cinnamon/ Ginger/ Mixed Spice/ Nutmeg ( The more Cinnamon the better)

In a large mixing bowl combine cereal with boiling water, stirring to moisten.

Set aside until cool, and then add - Eggs, Buttermilk, Oil, Dates and blend well.

Mix together the Bicarb, salt, sugar flour and spices.

Add to Bran mixture.

(At this point you may cover and refrigerate in a tightly covered container for as long as two weeks,

baking muffins at your convenience: I loved that part)

To bake, spoon batter into greased muffin pans (fill each cup 3 quarters full)

Bake at 220c for 20 minutes or until tops spring back slightly when lightly touched.

Serve hot/cold.

Makes approx 24 muffins.

Already 6 Months!

My new social life

I think there was something in the water last year, my best friend, a few other school friends and one of there sisters all fell pregnant around the same time and we all had boys. Two were born on the same day, Leanne's sister three days before her. Aiden is the youngest, as I drank the water a bit late as I only moved back to Joburg a while after everybody else got knocked up.

The first to be born, was the beautiful Cameron, my God-son, 9 May, so on Saturday Aiden and I went to our first little birthday party. 25 babies and kiddies and there parents filled the venue for some energetic fun, whistles and tantrums. It was complete madness and I am glad I only know maximum 10 kids, so Aiden's first birthday will be semi manageable.

It was loads of fun and I am super proud of my friend and her little boy, and shocked at how time as just flown by.

One Lucky Lady

There can only be one lucky lady unfortunately, this makes me very sad because I really appreciate you all so much. So there is one very lucky lady and 10 more lovely ladies getting a little something to. The mini library goes to Fiona, please send me your postal address or maybe we can just meet for coffee.

I would like all of you who left a comment to email me your postal address's and whether you have boys or girls and what age, there is a little surprise coming your way. Email to jmckaydesigns@gmail.com.

Monkeying around at the Zoo

I love my Mommy

It was my mom's birthday on Friday and we started celebrating on Thursday. I love my days out with my mom, she's more like a best friend than a parent and she just gets me, she understands me and I love her to death. She wanted a red cardigan for her birthday. and so the hunt began. We had breakfast in Cresta, we had a delicious croissant with Camembert, Cranberry Jelly and Tomato to share. Then browsed shops and picked up some awesome goodies. Then we went to the amazing  Petits Fours , if you haven't been you have to go, the food is amazing and the service is excellent. We spoke, we laughed and argued here and there but it's these simple days I cherish and I love the most.

Nappies vs Diamonds

Right now a gift of nappies is more valuable and more exciting than getting a diamond necklace. Where would I wear diamonds any ways I don't even have time to shave my legs. A lovely lady from Pampers read my explosions/nappy dilemma an sent me a wonderful gift of there new  Premium Care nappies  and wet wipes. I was so excited I did a little happy dance and all.

Lets make it clear

I have always been honest on my blog, I have found people love my honest side, those who don't simply don't read my blog. Lately I haven't been letting my soul out, mostly because right now I have no idea where to start to unravel all the shit in my life to even write about it.

I also know there are people reading my blog who I know are just there to attack me and enjoy watching my son and mines life's fall apart.

There is a deeper story, there always is isn't there.

I have been so scared to write about everything and say all that's been happening because I am embarrassed to have fallen into such a life. I wasn't raised in this kind of environment and I hate the fact that my child has to be part of it.

My last post I wrote a letter to my son, it was an apology letter to him for all the pain that he will experience thanks to all of the adults making stupid decisions in his life. I got a comment, a horrible one, from anonymous of course and a lot of it was a lie.

So I'm going to make it all clear. I am going to tell my story, my version, my view point and that's that. If you don't like it don't read my blog and if you hate me surely you have something better to do with your time than read about my life. I won't be offended, really I won't. I know my readers, I love my readers and my readers love me and they have always high fived my honesty.

So here it goes.

Love is blind. It really is.

I met a guy at my best friends wedding, he was the best man, I was a bridesmaid, he was in a relationship and I lived in Cape Town. We started talking on Facebook, I knew his story. It goes something like this, his chicky fell pregnant at 18 and when that baby was 3 months she buggered off and he raised her by himself, she came back a year later and fell pregnant again, but nobody knew the paternity of that baby. Turned out she was also his. She has been in and out of there lifes the whole time and has never worked to support them.

Okay, I'll admit our talking turned into flirting but I was on the other side of the country and there relationship was hardly one to begin with. I never got involved with him or touched him while he was in a relationship. They broke up and I moved back to Joburg because my granny had cancer. We got together. She attacked me physically and her and all her friends threatened me constantly on social media. I fell pregnant, I refused to have an abortion and I was left to face it alone.

D came back about 3 months later, only to walk back into the mother of his girls arms and I spent my pregnancy watching the father of my child be with someone else. I also carried on receiving threatening messages including a few where she threatened to kill my son. I cried myself to sleep every night and some nights I still do.

We were friends though, during my pregnancy, we spoke all the time and I was forgiving and understanding because I have always wanted my child to know his father.

We all warned him, we told him people don't change, he didn't listen and guess what she fell pregnant with child number 3, whether she did it on purpose or not the fact remains she doesn't even look after the two she already has. She left again because they weren't sure of paternity again.

D and I got close and were spending a lot of time together and enjoying the birth of our son. I chose that I couldn't live with the uncertainty, the instability and I was scared of being left again when the other child came around.

D's other son was born 2 weeks ago and he took in the boy and his mother because else that little boy will have nothing and will be in a bad situation.

My son will watch his father raise and pay for his other kids, he will feel he is not good enough and constantly ask why. I live with that pain every day.

I have never even cheated on a spelling B, never mind be the "other woman" who breaks up a good relationship and sure as hell not a married man. I was simply a girl who fell in love with a boy who told me there was no relationship, who told me it was over, who promised me the world.

Am I innocent in all this, no, none of us are, but I am dealing with the consequences of my actions. I could have taken the easy road, I could of had an abortion, I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after he was conceived but I didn't. I went through pregnancy alone, I had my heart broken time and time again, I am now a single mom raising my son on my own, emotionally, physically and financially.

If anybody dares to think I don't regret certain decisions, if anybody thinks I don't feel the pain, if anybody thinks I don't know what I did wrong, they are sadly mistaken.

But not for one second do I regret having Aiden, I do not feel sorry that he is here no matter what the situation is because I love him more than life it self. I would die for him in a second. I have made mistakes but I am here standing and taking responsibility for them, on my own.

Dear Aiden

I'll probably only let you read any of this blog when you 18 or maybe 21 or maybe never. I can't imagine you learning the truth about how much adults can screw up and I don't want you to be hurt by any of our mistakes.

I think about it every day, how this is all going to effect you How much it's going to hurt you. What questions you will ask, what questions you will be to afraid to ask.

Sometimes I just look at you and cry, I wish I could take the pain away that I know you are going to feel, I know either way you are going to be hurt. I have tried to think of every solution I can but there is no way out of this mess.

I am sorry, I truly am, if I could take it all away I would, if I could carry all your pain just so you feel none of it I would.

Just know I tried, I tried to give you the family you deserved. I was forgiving and understanding and kind and it all back fired. I tried to give him a chance to prove himself, to pay his way, to see you as much as he wanted and it didn't work out.

I am fighting for you not for me, if I could afford it all on my own I would, I work hard and I am trying every way I can to make money but sometimes life just throws you lemons and you have to make do. I have been left with no choice but to go to court and because of it I have been called some nasty names, I don't care what they think and I hope you don't care what others think either. All I want is for you to know is that I am doing it for you so you don't suffer or miss out on opportunities because I can't pay for everything on my own.

I also want you to know, none of this is your fault, and there is nothing wrong with you. No matter how much me and your father are fighting right now, we both love you. So does your dad, I know he does, things are just really bad at the moment, and I can't promise you that he will always be there and I can't promise you that he will win dad of the year but I know in his heart he loves you but I know those words don't always help, most of the time actions speak louder than words.

All I ask is please don't let this all bring you down in life, rather let it make you stronger than let it defeat you. You are an amazing individual already and you can have and be anything your heart desires and I will be there for you every step of the way.

Because I can and because I love you

I started blogging when I fell pregnant, just a way to let go and keep sane, I never knew it would become such a love and such a passion. I also never knew I would meet and get to know so many wonderful people and get such support and encouragement from complete strangers.

So I'm giving a little back, just a gift from me to one of you lucky ladies. My mom works at a publishing company so Aiden's library is well on it's way, reading was one of my favourite childhood memories, my mom is always bringing books home and I asked her to grab a few for one of my readers. Really simple just comment on this post, if you struggle as blogspot often does send me an email at jmckaydesigns@gmail.com. I'm giving you all till next Monday, got to keep it to South Africa unfortuantly.
Oh and it will be put into Googles random picker thingy so it's fair.