Hello Aiden. Pleased to meet you.

Hello hi. Tash here from Raising Men. I am Aiden's Blogmother. When Jessie can't blog, then I step in and make sure that everything still runs smoothly here. Plus, if I had that beautiful baby to play with all day, then I wouldn't be anywhere near here either. Enough said.

Jess was supposed to have Aiden in a few days time, so we were all in total shock when her sister posted pictures of a newborn BABY on facebook last night. Claire and I were on chat, frantically trying to phone Jess, and I was pretty darn close to getting in my car searching all the hospitals for them. Thanks to my husband to talking me out of it. 

I got this mail from the new and gorgeous mother this afternoon, and I'd love to tell you all about it. This is from Jess:

"I started getting contractions (well, pains -I didn't know what they were), then I kind of fell to the floor in pain. My mom phoned the doctor and he said I should go in to the hospital to be checked out. He said if I was in labour and I get too far, then I'd have to push the baba out! So off we went. I thought it was nothing,  but then the nurse was all like "You're 1cm dilated" 

I phoned the doctor and the next thing they told me that I'm having a C-section in 45min!!! I freaked out! Darell lives 45min away at a safe speed! I was not ready for a baby! 

The whole thing was pretty painless and I didn't need to freak about it at all. And then I heard him cry. He was born at 19.59pm totally unexpected!! Aiden weighs 3.14kg and his length is 34cm."

Congrats Jess and Aiden. You're both so very special to me. Can't wait to see you guys with Claire this weekend! BIG LOVE

Unexpected Beauty

Aiden has become my sister's Matric art project and she has labelled him not me "Unexpected Beauty" here are some photo's of our mini photo shoot.

Back to the beginning

I went back to my very first post and have seen how far I have come and how much better things already are. If I can get though this I can get through anything.






How it all came to be


2 weeks ago I was starting to plan my awesome birthday bash, now that I was finally in my home city again after a year and a half. It was going to be big and elaborate, tequila watermelon, vodka jelly and jumping castles to name a few of my traditional birthday elements. Literally 4 days later I woke up feeling so nauseous, i did think "pregnant" but brushed it off as, "I cant possibly have symptoms a few days after the stupid night of drunken unprotected sex, right."

Well a few days went by, 4 to be exact, and I almost threw up while making noodle salad (my speciality) for a family function. Then I thought maybe just maybe, being nauseous for 4 days is not normal, lets face it but I still chose to rather believe that I was dieing of some unknown disease and actually wanted to be dieing before being pregnant. My boyfriend and I even joked about it that day....turns out none of it was that funny in the end.

The next morning I woke up to the worst feeling of "food poisoning" I had ever experianced, so I thought let me just have a smoke to settle my stomach..... oh boy, was that a mistake. It was instant, it hit me like a ton of bricks, I could picture myself turning a lovely shade of green and i clicked - OH MY GOD - I MUST BE PREGNANT.

I sent my boyfriend  message that morning telling him I think I need to get tested. Ofcoarse its only been a week so no test would be accurate, but I knew, I just knew I was pregnant. I never struggle with nausea or stomach problems and being nauseous for 6 days would be the worst tummy bug to date but I prayed and I hoped and pleaded with myself that I was just slowly loosing my mind.

I did get some tests, well my mom did, and I finally got the guts to pee on that little plastic stick on the 9th day of nausea.....it came out INVALID, still not sure what the trying to pull with that rubbish. Surely you either have a bun in the oven or not. Giving my boyfriend these results was probably mistake number one. He had a panic attack and told me he wasn't ready for a relationship.... I was like "uh no, you can at least wait for the final results before you decide to take a hike"

A couple days later I was in serious panic mode, because I just had this feeling, I needed to know and I needed to know now... only after you know do you wish you didn't know but by then it's way to late and your whole world seems to change. I knew you supposed to only take the urine test in the morning, I didn't care, when I got home from work that day. I waited patiently till I needed to pee............... and I did it and this faint line in the positive square popped up. I thought I was dreaming so I called my sister in to analyse my plastic pee stick, she's only 17 so not sure what I expected, so we both called my mom, who was busy with a household of guests to come and analyse my plastic pee stick.

"That looks like a line" she said. Everything became a blur, I couldn't breath, I couldn't move and I sure as hell could not believe I had a thing growing inside of me. Tears just started streaming down my face, no not tears, the most unflattering kind of sobs you can ever imagine started pouring out of my panic stricken, pregnant body.

I chose not to enclose this revelation with my already "chicken-shit" boyfriend, as he was picking me up to get a blood test the next day and I think I was trying to convince myself that this stupid little piece of plastic was not going to be the say so of my future. (sadly it is). The next day, I tried to wait calming for the father of my future child to pick me up to go and declare my fate. I got in the car and through the plastic pee stick at him (this was me trying to be calm) and said it's positive. The colour drained from his face so quickly I thought we would never move from that spot again.

We got to the hospital and the nurse asks a whole lot of questions. Eventually I just say, "I did a test and it came out positive" - "Oh, so you just want to know how far along you are!" - uh NO, I want you to tell me it's wrong, that I'm not pregnant and some cruel, cruel person is playing an early April fools joke on you. Alas, that is not reality and the second wait for results come into play.

We went to the closest bar, yes bar, yes I had an alcoholic drink and yes I had a lot of cigarettes but in all fairness you would to. This is where things started going pear-shaped (soon to be my bodies shape to). He started promising me a life time of love and happiness if I just have an abortion. That he would be there for me  through it all and it would only make us stronger. You see he already has 2 children at the age of 24, that he has full custody of and surprisingly he is an amazing father. So this reaction was so far fetched for me to be hearing coming out of his mouth. I told him lets just wait for the results and we'll go from there.

When that nurse said, you 3-4 weeks, those unflattering sobs started up again and this time my life seriously came crashing down around me. I was going to be a mom..... I don't like children, I'm selfish and care free and now I can't even have a damn cigarette without feeling an enormous amount of guilt. I couldn't handle it, I told the BF not to come past as I just couldn't deal with the man who destroyed my world in what a few seconds of drunken pleasure.

The next day we spoke and argued and eventually I just told him, I couldn't do it. I don't judge those who do, but personally I just could not have an abortion. I wish I could, I really do but I just can't. This is how how became single for the time being. We all hoping he will come to his sense's and be a man and accept his responsiblites if not, it will be forced on him by my maintenance lawyer and the wrath of a very scorned, emotional and soon to be fat woman.

Miss Preggy's Future

So in either 7 days or 2 days I'm going to be having a baby, I have been so consumed in being pregnant and all the bullshit that has been happening I don't think I have really thought about the future and what happens next.
To sit here and say I'm okay and not freaking out would be a lie. I am so scared and so emotional I can't think about anything else.

I really can't believe this part of the journey is almost over. I can't believe I actually got through this. I can't believe I am about to have a baby.

Everybody has told me how strong I am, how I inspire them, how my story has given them hope and strength, when most days I could easily curl up in a ball and never get out of bed. How even though I can't imagine life without Aiden I sometimes still want to run away, I wish I could have Aiden minus all the rest. How I wish I was married and doing all this the boring old fashioned way.

A lot of people have been asking me, what happens to Miss Preggy after Aiden's arrival, if I will change the name of my blog and if I will carry on blogging after. I have thought about it all. Miss Preggy really has been my escape root, Miss Preggy is so much more than a blog about being pregnant. I guess I've seen pregnancy as a learning process in my life,  a slow lesson on the toughest times and the most amazing. So I see Miss Preggy as just that, even though Aiden is coming, my journey is far from over it's just beginning and as I have no idea what comes next and I will constantly be learning and I probably have a long road ahead of me before things are even vaguely stable and probably will never be normal. Miss Preggy and it's name will stay as is.

I have organised the wonderful Natasha to post a pic of Aiden and details while I am in hospital so you are all updated on my wonderful new bundle of joy.

Jungle Juice

So a while ago Claire from ZA to CH gave me this recipe of Jungle Juice, with my energy levels plummeting I finally got around to making some. I am hectic with getting funny things down but this taste like amazing ice tea and works like a bomb and definitely will keep making it once Aiden is born and maybe just forever. Here's the recipe, go make it now, like right now.

Jungle Juice

- 1 litre clear apple juice
- 2 litres strong rooibos tea (or water, but rooibos tastes better)
- 1 sachet of the blackcurrant rehidrat (R40 for 6 sachets at clicks)
- 50 ml of Schlehen Blackthorn Berry Elixir (or even less, it's hellish expensive when you use in these quantities but it is brilliant. It's a vitamin tonic designed specially for new moms. You can get it at clicks or baby city or Pick n' Pay)

Mix it all together, it makes 3 liters. Keep in the fridge, and drink it all within 24 hours. Make a new batch the next day.

Baby Bash Memories

Finally got some more of my pictures from my baby shower...here we go.

Cupcake and cookies galore 

Popcorn and lollipops

Kiddies Area

Picnic love

Marshmallows, sherbet and wine gums

Magic lanterns

Thank you gifts

Photo Booth

False Labour and all that Jazz

So it's 12 days to my C-section on the 14th of November. With an array of emotions running through me and a lot of time to sit and think about everything continuously, 12 days is actually a long time. In actual fact it might only be 7 days, I have to go in on the 9th and then he might to decide to take him out the very next day!

That concept freaks me out some what, way not enough time to prepare myself for the whole ordeal.

I am actually not really ready for a baby.

I realised this yesterday when we thought I was going into labour.

My sisters timing of contractions

The first flesh ripping pain came when I was making tea and ended up on the floor from whatever Aiden was trying to pull off.

This was followed by a few more pain wrenching moments, that my sister was trying to time, while freaking out. She came to all my ante-natal classes and wanted to be my birthing partner, she had learned all the breathing techniques and calming methods. All of which flew right out the window, she frantically called my mom who was upstairs on her phone every time a pain came and kept repeating, "We not ready for this, oh my, I'm not ready for this."

This making me laugh hysterically, partly because it was funny and partly because she was 100% right. Everything that was running through my head that still needed to be done, like my room looking like a bomb hit it because we haven't prepared it for the arrival. My hospital bag that's still not packed and the fact that I still don't have pads because I end up just staring at them because I have no idea what I need to get because I haven't used a pad since I was 13.

Then everyone saying, does it fell like a period pain... I don't know I haven't had a period in 9 months, and I never suffered from period pains to begin with plus last year I didn't even have a cycle for like 10 months. So can someone please describe this pain in some other way.

I was feeling like someone was stabbing me in vantoosh and kindly slicing open my lower abdomen with forgetting to give me my spinal.

I had my mom trying to pack me a hospital bag while my sister is taking notes on times and descriptions of my pains, us trying to find labour descriptions in the numerous baby books I have lying around and trying to figure out what the hell is a "Bloody show" knowing I don't have that but would really like to know what to expect when it does make a performance.

Eventually deciding to just go to bed, if I am in labour I am sure I will figure it out soon enough.

The Pram

So this weekend D and I went on a hunt for the last things we needed to get for Aiden's arrival. We got a Ferrari car seat, I think D is more excited about the car seat than he is about Aiden, a bath that we have now realised the plug in it isn't a good idea because it seems to pop open and knowing me I'll probably only realise when the carpet under my bare feet is soaking and my baby is shivering from no longer being in warm water.

Then we got a pram, a normal device to most new parents and a common occurrence in any mall, at most restaurants and when ever you can hear a small child around. 

For me it's a huge thing, I looked at it the whole weekend, I haven't even tried it out, I am avoiding the giant lime, green pram that has taken over and freaked me out.

I have pretty much always hated prams, I hate them in grocery stores and dodging them in malls. I hate those big space ship ones, like 4x4 things that take up whole aisles and are always left in the way while passing mothers chat or look at a new product. My insane hate for them came when I was waitressing at a day time restaurant. These prams would take up my whole section, we would have to move around tables and chairs for them to get through and have them exactly where the mother wished to have the positioned, I would have to try serve over them trying really hard not to spill hot tea and drop steak knifes on the babies heads. In the end if a pram came around the corner actually if children came i would start praying a hundred prayers they wouldn't sit in my section or I would happily give them over to someone else.

Prams seem so mommified to me, they scream it from the roof tops, this freaks me out. I know I'm 9 months pregnant and I should be 100% at terms with the fact that in 14 days I am about to become a mother, but not the nursery or the baby bash or the growing belly has quite put me into this realisation as much as this pram has. 

I am so excited but I have this growing anxiety after purchasing this device that shouldn't be more than a object to move my baby around in. I have just become a pram pushing mommy, I will never be 23 and free again. I am Aiden's mother and that has to come first, I will always come second not just to me but to everybody. 

Lovely Things

Aiden and I got really, really spoilt at my baby bash, I really didn't want to open presents at my baby shower because people get bored and it takes forever and I wanted to spend time with my friends and family. However I didn't seem to have a choice... I was exhausted after and missed time with people who couldn't stay long and in the end I was opening them for myself because nobody was actually watching.

I think this was hour 1....

I think he's wishing I was old fashioned and he didn't have to be doing this...

Have you ever seen a man smile about opening a winnie-the-pooh brush set....

Besides from having doing what I didn't want to do, I got amazing things, here are some of my favourite.

My lovely uncle and aunt got me the mobile of all mobiles, it plays Bach and Mozart and has all the most amazing colours!

Natasha got me this awesome Bambino Bath Ring, don't know how I'm going to wait 6 months to put Aiden in it. Definitely one of the best things about falling pregnant has been meeting and getting to know Tash.

I got a lot of blankets, but this Red Snoppy blanket is definitely my favourite.

My mom has started my favourite childrens author Dr. Seuss collection, she even got me 

"Oh,the places you'll go" - don't you just love my mother.

Most of these fabulous things come from Tash, she gave me a goodie bag full of awesomeness, in this pic are Perfumed Nappy bags - anything that hides the smell of shit are worth more than gold to me, disposable bibs - genius, dummy safety pin thing - I have watched all my friends frantically look for the dummy that just fell out of there babies mouth...a hundred times...I think I might go buy them all one, little dummies for my newborn, a silicone tooth brush to wash his gums - not sure if I need it or will use it but I love the packaging,  same packaging - it's like a dummy, with a net and you put say a orange inside then he can chew on it without choking and get used to new flavours, smart thinking. 

My baby bag - once again you have to love my mother. It's pretty and so smart and so not baby blue with Winnie-the-Pooh Poo.

It has a portable changing mat.

It came with blanket and a bottle bag and a dummy bad and a medical aid bag and a bag for dirty clothes and bibs and a pouch to keep medical history and notes, and so many compartments inside it would make your head dizzy with organisation... it made my head dizzy, I need my mom to teach me how to pack it, I normally have a big hole in my bag and chuck everything in.

I love my lovely favourite things.

Pregnancy Yucky's

Only 19 days to go before my elective C-section (yes I say it loud and proud) ELECTIVE C-SECTION, but that's another post entirely. The last few days it's been a heat wave in Jozi, need I even say more.

• So with temps ranging in the late 30's and the natural over heating of a very pregnant woman actually quite literally brought me to tears.
• Back spasms, there's this one spot that is always in pain and it goes into spasm when I sit for to long and recently while I'm sleeping.
• Heart burn, I have touched on this before but it seems to be a lot worse and would happily go back a few weeks for that heart burn because this heart burn might actually induce death, I wake up crying in pain.
• Energy, 2nd trimester I had crazy energy, I've never actually felt energy quite like it, another distant memory though and I have taken up full time napping.
• Swollen feet and calves, can anybody scream CANKLES!!!
• Feet popping out of my stomach in public.
• Foot in rib... all day.
• Dehydration
• Dry skin
• Dry hair
• Breaking nails
• Oh and the waddle.

37 Weeks Pregnant

So it's been a heat wave the last few days in Joburg, not so much fun at 37 weeks pregnant. Actually not much is. I'm officially huge, it hurts like hell when Aiden kicks, my feet went up a whole shoe size and this heartburn thing is just ridiculous.

I haven't gotten in a pool since I was a kid, but desperate times call for desperate measures and yesterday my sis and I got into our icy pool, big belly and all.

See....HUGE!!! Bleh!!!

Aiden's Baby Bash

I do know why baby showers are normally calm events with a few friends and family because wow at 8 months pregnant, 80 people, so much food and so much talking really tires you out. I was finished for days after but it was worth every moment and every penny.

I have to firstly thank my amazing mother, how she deals with me and puts up with my demands and wants is beyond me and she really should get the best mommy award ever! She politely sent me away the night before and worked her ass off to give me the best baby shower ever and she succeeded a hundred times over and beyond.

Then of course my fabulous sister and D's mom and sister and Ashley and Kaylee.

It was a great day filled with my favourite people, great food, lots of candy and lot's of love and spoiling.