So this weekend D and I went on a hunt for the last things we needed to get for Aiden's arrival. We got a Ferrari car seat, I think D is more excited about the car seat than he is about Aiden, a bath that we have now realised the plug in it isn't a good idea because it seems to pop open and knowing me I'll probably only realise when the carpet under my bare feet is soaking and my baby is shivering from no longer being in warm water.
Then we got a pram, a normal device to most new parents and a common occurrence in any mall, at most restaurants and when ever you can hear a small child around.
For me it's a huge thing, I looked at it the whole weekend, I haven't even tried it out, I am avoiding the giant lime, green pram that has taken over and freaked me out.
I have pretty much always hated prams, I hate them in grocery stores and dodging them in malls. I hate those big space ship ones, like 4x4 things that take up whole aisles and are always left in the way while passing mothers chat or look at a new product. My insane hate for them came when I was waitressing at a day time restaurant. These prams would take up my whole section, we would have to move around tables and chairs for them to get through and have them exactly where the mother wished to have the positioned, I would have to try serve over them trying really hard not to spill hot tea and drop steak knifes on the babies heads. In the end if a pram came around the corner actually if children came i would start praying a hundred prayers they wouldn't sit in my section or I would happily give them over to someone else.
Prams seem so mommified to me, they scream it from the roof tops, this freaks me out. I know I'm 9 months pregnant and I should be 100% at terms with the fact that in 14 days I am about to become a mother, but not the nursery or the baby bash or the growing belly has quite put me into this realisation as much as this pram has.
I am so excited but I have this growing anxiety after purchasing this device that shouldn't be more than a object to move my baby around in. I have just become a pram pushing mommy, I will never be 23 and free again. I am Aiden's mother and that has to come first, I will always come second not just to me but to everybody.