Thursday, January 12, 2012

Stigmas


It’s amazing how people have all the answers, how they think their way is the only way to do things. How you must be wrong and can’t possibly know what you are doing.

Being referred to as a single mom continuously and the way people say it drives me made.

Some say it with so much pity in their eyes; I just want to throw something at them. Why do you feel sorry for me, I am just like you, a mom loving and trying to do what’s best for her child.

Then there are those who say it like I must be a slut because I am so young and I deserve to struggle because I should have kept my legs closed, those I would happily lead to a bridge and tell them to jump off it would make the world a much better place. Let’s face it your daughter no matter how well you raised her is probably having sex too and I am going to be cracking myself when you find out you going to be a grandmother.

Then there is the question is it hard being a single mom. Um what do you think? But my actual answer is, it’s hard being a parent, it’s hard being a mom and I don’t know anything different so how can I compare it to anything. Maybe one day when I’m married and I give my husband another child then ask me that but right now this is just my reality, my family is just one member short of yours but I am pretty sure we have the same problems except I have one less, I don’t have to tell someone to put the toilet seat down.

Overall I really am becoming sick of the whole “single mom” label, I am the same as any mom, I can do as good a job as any mother and my child will be just fine. I don’t need pity, I definitely do not need your judgement and your stupid questions make me laugh but seriously they waste my time and I would rather have a conversation that means something, than talk too you just so you can feel a little bit better about yourself because you have a husband or a boyfriend.

4 comments:

  1. WOW!!! You just made me cry at work, cause no matter how young you "may be" to be a mom, you are more grown up with your head screwed on straight than most 30 yr olds I know. I, even being 29 and a single mom, had a WOW moment when reading that, you made me feel special and "normal" all in one. Thank you, this is the perfect article for the way I'm trying to live 2012 - postivive and happy!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so glad you are back! Don't let anyone tell you what to do or make you feel inadequate. You got a mention in an interview I did today: http://cape-town-active.com/cape-town-blogger-interview-jana-engelbrecht/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks guys, it feels good to be back, I needed the time to get things sorted and focus on just me and find out where I am in all the craziness, still havent quite figured it out and dont think I ever will but I am ready to be honest and open again and thats the only way I want Miss Preggy to be.

    @Tracy, sorry that I made you cry but thank you for those words I am glad I could lift your spirits and hopefully in between the tears bring out a few smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Since I became a mom I only have complete and utter respect for single moms... really, hats off to you, because I don't know how you do it or stay sane when you are the only one there. Though, I must also admit, that sometimes when was up the entire night, every hour or whatever, by the time 3am came I was glaring at my peacefully-sleeping husband, shooting imaginary beams of ice at him from my eyes every time I got up. And I would think that sometimes it might be nice not to have a reminder of what you're missing out on directly in front of your face :)

    Every time I read one of your posts I am so amazed at how... well, wise your words are. You're a lot more mature than a lot of people I know. Including me!

    Love the new style of the blog, too, by the way

    ReplyDelete