Co-sleeping Nightmare - Night One

Maybe Aiden is a spoilt child, I'm not really sure, listening to him cry is not something I ever do. I normally pick him up or give him his dummy or do whatever he needs to make it stop. I am blessed with a child who doesn't really cry often, he never cries for no reason and is in general a happy baby.

So it started off pretty well, he passed out right after his bath and I tucked him in into his cot. He was sleeping soundly, he stirred once or twice but seemed content sleeping in his own bed. Till he woke up, I got up and gave him his dummy and walked away.

Two seconds later he was screaming blue murder and I was hiding under my blanket trying to bloke out the sound. My dear sister just looked at me and said 'I can't, I just can't!' She picked him up and rocked him a bit and I told her to put him back. He screamed and screamed and what felt like an hour but in reality was only maybe 3 minutes, I had to take him out I just did. I settled him down and put him back in his cot awake and a few minutes later he was fast asleep.

I think I was more heart broken going to sleep in an empty bed and part of me just wanted to go get him and hold on tight and never let go. I never feel alone with Aiden, he gives me the ability to ignore all the bad in my life and pretend that everything is fine. Yes I realised all this just from putting him in his cot.

I eventually fell asleep and woke to his horrifying screams at about 1.30am, I was so disorientated and confused and my word is it cold at that time of night, why I chose to do this in the middle of winter is beyond me. I stumbled more like saw my ass, tripping over all Aidens toys and finally got him. I just picked him up and held him till he fell asleep.

Then I took both of us to my bed and we snuggled till morning.

Yes night one = fail!