I have heard all the advice, I remember all the warnings and I have witnessed the mommy judgements first hand. I am a co-sleeper and I don't really care what any body thinks.
I am a single mom and nobody else sleeps in my bed so why can't my kid. I also had a C-section and 7 days after that was in hospital with a liver infection and had my pain meds ripped away from me and so recovery was really difficult and picking a baby up out a cot all night was impossible.
Not only that I have enjoyed having Aiden next to me and it's never been a problem until now. Now it’s turning into a nightmare and I am turning into a crazy woman and Aiden is not getting a good side of me at 2am in the morning.
I am getting zero sleep, Aiden is getting zero sleep, I wake up with a crooked neck and a bad back and I'm becoming crankier and crankier as the days go by. I know all kids are different, hell my one friends baby been sleeping through since 6 weeks and my God-son only started sleeping through at about a year after they went to a sleep therapist.
It’s been almost 9 months since I've had a full night’s sleep and I don't expect that to change anytime soon but I do know what a few problems are and I have just gotten another one added to the bill.
Aiden became extremely 'ma vas' after the whole hospital stay. He cries when I leave the room, he almost always has to sit in my lap and will want me the minute I'm back in his vision. This little habit has progressed into his sleep and its driving me literally insane.
Aiden wants me to lie facing him and he snuggles towards me, puts his legs up on my legs and holds my pyjama top and this is how he wants me to stay. I move around a lot in my sleep and when I turn over this throws Aiden into a full blown brat tantrum and he screams and smacks my back until I turn over and snuggle him again.
Last night it was war of wills between the two of us and in the end we got no sleep. I put him on the other side of the bed at one point and moved right to the edge this resulting in Aiden throwing himself at me and landing on my back, I screamed at him, I admit it, and then he was silent and sniffled a little and I caved, how can I be mad at him, all he wants is me and so I snuggled some more.
I just can't carry on anymore like this, I need sleep, I need to sleep in whatever position I feel comfortable and Aiden needs to go to his cot.
How I'm going to do this, I have no idea. I'm probably heading into a few weeks of no sleep and tons of heart break. I know in the end its what's best for both of us, this doesn't make me converted, I don't think co-sleeping is evil and think everybody should feel free to parent as the feel fit without being bashed by other mothers.
Co-sleeping worked for me until it became my worst nightmare.
|First night in his cot! Lets see how it goes...|