Monday, July 16, 2012

Co-Sleeping Nightmare

I have heard all the advice, I remember all the warnings and I have witnessed the mommy judgements first hand. I am a co-sleeper and I don't really care what any body thinks.

I am a single mom and nobody else sleeps in my bed so why can't my kid. I also had a C-section and 7 days after that was in hospital with a liver infection and had my pain meds ripped away from me and so recovery was really difficult and picking a baby up out a cot all night was impossible.

Not only that I have enjoyed having Aiden next to me and it's never been a problem until now. Now it’s turning into a nightmare and I am turning into a crazy woman and Aiden is not getting a good side of me at 2am in the morning.

I am getting zero sleep, Aiden is getting zero sleep, I wake up with a crooked neck and a bad back and I'm becoming crankier and crankier as the days go by. I know all kids are different, hell my one friends baby been sleeping through since 6 weeks and my God-son only started sleeping through at about a year after they went to a sleep therapist.

It’s been almost 9 months since I've had a full night’s sleep and I don't expect that to change anytime soon but I do know what a few problems are and I have just gotten another one added to the bill.

Aiden became extremely 'ma vas' after the whole hospital stay. He cries when I leave the room, he almost always has to sit in my lap and will want me the minute I'm back in his vision. This little habit has progressed into his sleep and its driving me literally insane.

Aiden wants me to lie facing him and he snuggles towards me, puts his legs up on my legs and holds my pyjama top and this is how he wants me to stay. I move around a lot in my sleep and when I turn over this throws Aiden into a full blown brat tantrum and he screams and smacks my back until I turn over and snuggle him again.

Last night it was war of wills between the two of us and in the end we got no sleep. I put him on the other side of the bed at one point and moved right to the edge this resulting in Aiden throwing himself at me and landing on my back, I screamed at him, I admit it, and then he was silent and sniffled a little and I caved, how can I be mad at him, all he wants is me and so I snuggled some more.

I just can't carry on anymore like this, I need sleep, I need to sleep in whatever position I feel comfortable and Aiden needs to go to his cot.

How I'm going to do this, I have no idea. I'm probably heading into a few weeks of no sleep and tons of heart break. I know in the end its what's best for both of us, this doesn't make me converted, I don't think co-sleeping is evil and think everybody should feel free to parent as the feel fit without being bashed by other mothers.

Co-sleeping worked for me until it became my worst nightmare. 

First night in his cot! Lets see how it goes...


  1. Good luck for tonight! I really hope it goes well for you.
    And seriously, don't let any other mother make you feel bad about the choices you make. At the end of the day, we're all just doing what works best for us in order to survive.

  2. Jessie, we co-sleep too sometimes - all three of us! Especially when Ivy is sick! There's nothing wrong with it, unfortunately your sleep does suffer tho :-) I know. Just do it slow, maybe try to move him to his cot when he is asleep. Believe it or not, they get used to things pretty quickly if you keep repeating them. Ivy still cries when we put her in her cot at night but if I stay in the room and hang up the washing or something she falls asleep much quicker knowing I'm there with her. Just try one thing at a time and don't feel bad if he's back in your bed after half an hour - just try again tomorrow. Good luck sunshine xxx

  3. Oh Jess, I had to laugh. You describe it so well. It's so cute! My son is also having a few "sleep issues" at the moment. (Same age as Aiden.)We also co-sleep. Well, actually, we play "musical beds" all night long between our bed and our toddler's bed.

    Good luck and I hope you sort it out!

  4. Jess, my husband and i co-sleep with Tyler, since he was about 10 months. It was so we could all get some more sleep, now it's a habit we can't break. Sometimes i think its the worst thing ever and its my fault for starting bad habits but most of the time i love having him so close to us, and we get a good nights sleep. I'm terrified to move him into his bed, i'm terrified of the tantrums and heartbreak! But we'll get there when we're ready! Sending lots of strength and love your way xxx

  5. That seems very cute (the way he wants to snuggle), but I understand your dilemma. Both you and A NEED sleep for your sanity and his development. I am a sleep training advocate. Having said that, my toddler has been creeping in with us every night all winter and I've allowed it. The sleep training has resulted in him going to sleep by himself in his own room though, which is a HUGE help.

    Last year I bit the bullet and did the sleep training thing. I blogged about it day by day until we had success. You can start reading here: if you want to follow our journey and what we did.

    Good luck x

  6. Each to his own. And yes, we do what we need to do, to survive. I'm not a co-sleeper. Never have been and probably never will be. On the days when Dudie is not well, Dude or I will dose off with him, but we will go back to our bed when Dudie's asleep. Good luck. I sometimes want to kick Dude out of bed, as he too can be a restless sleeper sometimes :-)

  7. I do hope it went better than expected. Gosh,we just all do what works for us at the moment. It's the best we can do.

    As to sleep through, well, I have 3 kids and no 2 were different. We went from an excellent sleeper (sleep through from 3 weeks) to one that only strated sleeping through 6 months ago after the age of 4.But I have to add that he has SPD/SID and they are not "normal" sleepers at all

  8. Hi Jessie

    I have now launched our blog and you can download our free ebook from there. Teach your Baby to Sleep - 8 Top Tips. It includes the self-settling method and it is all done in a very loving and gental way.