Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Acceptance, letting go, moving on

The last two years have been a whirl wind of craziness and only now that I'm starting to feel alive again have I realised how crazy I actually went and how I let my situation beat me instead of rising to the challenge.

The other day we were watching some show with a crazy pregnant woman and everyone around her noticed how she had quite literally lost her mind. I was one of those. If I think back to my mind set and how I acted, what my thought process's were and how I felt and knowing who I really am, I can honestly say I lost my mind there for a while.

Even after A was born, being told I have PND and then being to crazy to listen to the professionals and take meds for it, I suffered through.

The last 5 months I have been hibernating from my real life, I stopped seeing friends, gave up on commitments and went into a daze and zombie mode. I have hurt people who truly care and who had been there for me throughout my pregnancy, for that I am sorry.

I needed that though and the last 2 weeks I have really been actively trying to beat the depression, I'm not a fan of anti-depressants from personal experience and I know what I really need to do is fight my inner demons.

Happiness comes to those who wait, NO, happiness comes to those who take it, who choose it and who fight for it.

If I really stop and think and look at my life, I am truly blessed, yes there are quite a few unfortunate situations in my life but ones I cannot change and ones I shouldn't be dwelling on.

I have a beautiful son, who lights up my life and I can't imagine living a second without him.

I have a wonderful, supportive family.

I have quite literally the best sister any body could ask for.

I have great friends.

A awesome God-Son

My company has passed my expectations of what I thought it's success would be in the beginning.

I'm young, smart and stronger than I ever thought I was.

Life is good at the moment.

Life is good cause I chose to change it.


  1. Well done Jess :). You have done well, you have been through alot and nobody can blame you for um,,, losing your mind for a while. the PND is hard, mine only lasted a little while, but its hard. Well done, you have done great to dig out of the hole you fell into :)

    Congrats on your co doing so well too. :)