I just finished my 26th week of pregnancy, I have 14 weeks left to go, I hope you read that, I only have 14 fucking weeks to go! Last week I bought myself a set of Tommee Tippee bottles, that took about 30min to decide on, and a bottle sterilizer. This calmed me down for about an hour and the bottled up stress and anxiety came back full swing.
I'm known as calm and collected, strong, somebody who can handle anything and everything and has for everything else in my life. As you all know this has been quite an ordeal for me and the closer the end comes the more I seem to be freaking out. I don't know the next part, I just started getting slightly good at being a normal pregnant woman. I just started accepting that I was pregnant to begin with and now it's ending. I don't know the next step, the actual baby part hasn't really hit home just yet.
Everyone around me is so excited and so happy for the little bundle of joy that is going to be popping out soon, real soon. Now don't get me wrong I love Peanut more than words can explain already and I am looking forward to getting to know him and have him in my life. I am scared shitless though, it's so much to handle and I'm still not sure if I'm ready for this.
Along with the joys of stress, anxiety and fear, third trimester has come and come with a vengeance. My morning sickness is back, tear rolling down cheek, I tried denying it, saying to myself it's just something I ate. I've woken up with that awful feeling of drinking to much without the pleasure of being wasted for about a week now. Along with that my emotions are sky high again, and I'm crying at everything again and really have to concentrate on not snapping on everybody.
This is a serious problem because everybody is going to start thinking I'm crazy again and I'm bound to step on a lot of toes and upset a lot of people. So I do warn in advance, it's not you, it's probably me and if it really is you, lucky you, you get away with being an ass and using the pregnant emotions as an excuse for my reaction.