It hurts

Today it hurts, it really hurts. I look forward to seeing him, I laugh when he's here and I cry for days once he's gone.

Last year this time I was planning my weekends on which parties where the best.

This weekend I'm discussing maintenance and who gets what weekends.

8 Months ago I was allowing myself to fall in love again.

Today I sat across from the father of my child who has chosen to be with someone else.

6 Months ago I gave myself to a man I thought I could trust, he walked away.

Today I was planning our lives together only we are so far apart.

4 Months ago he came back for our child.

Now I have to watch him have another whole family.

Now I feel like his dirty little secret.

Now I have to have him in my life forever.

Today it hurts, it really does. I just want to run away. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to raise a child in this mess. I don't want to share my child with another woman. I don't want to share my child like a piece of furniture with anybody.

I sit and listen to woman moan that there husband or partner don't change enough diapers. Moan that he doesn't take them to the ballet. Moan that he works to much. Moan that he wants sex to much. Moan that he doesn't cook and clean enough.

He is there, he loves you else he wouldn't be. He loves your kids. He works for you. Go to ballet with a friend, he doesn't force you to watch rugby. Have sex it's good for you. Go out for dinner and leave the dishes for tomorrow. You are the luckiest woman around. You got a good one, Prince Charming doesn't exist because which one of us are actually Cinderella.