Saturday, August 20, 2011

Pregnancy Yucky's

I do understand the gift of having a baby and I love it when Peanut moves but I hate pregnancy. I just do. I'm not good at it. I'm not graceful. I hate it when people say "Look how big you've gotten" when would a woman want to hear that. I hate spending time on getting ready just to hear how "cute" I look, I miss looking sexy, gorgeous and beautiful.

Yucky's for this week
  • My ass is finally getting bigger, wider, fatter, kind of like J-Lo's but on a good day.

  • Stretch marks are creeping slowly across my huge ass love handles, like vines of evil.

  • Heartburn, um no, they really need a new name for this experience during pregnancy because it is not heartburn. It's a flame of torture, that rips your insides a part for hours at a time.

  • Gooey stuff from nipples has doubled, this I really can't handle.

  • Dry scalp - Holy Moses and I have almost black hair and nothing helps.

  •  I can no longer tie my own shoe laces

  • Getting in and out of a bath is also getting quite tricky

  • I am getting little blue veins on my boobs  - this made me cry.

  • Crazy dreams and I mean crazy dreams and I'm used to being a nut while I sleep. We talking killer peas with little arms and legs and evil faces marching single file line into my room to kill me with there little spears and bow and arrows.

  • BITCH syndrome, I have already warned everybody around me.

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