Thursday, August 11, 2011

Find my own way

As you all expected Cape Town was amazing, it's Cape Town it can't be anything else. The weather was great and seeing all my lovely friends made my heart skip a beat. The ocean, sea gulls, wine tasting and to much food. Birthdays, shopping and drunken parties. In five short days I managed to see most of the people I wanted to, spent extra time with the ones I missed the most, met some new people, some I'll see again and some I never will.

I also spent a lot of time with mothers. All amazing woman, all with a different story and all with a different outlook on things. All had great advice about my situation and a lot of fearful stories of what I'm in for. I have learned I have to find my own way when it comes to being a mommy and learn how to deal with my situation how I need to. I think I need to find one mommy mentor, someone who is a lot like me, with the same sort of lifestyle and get my bulk of advice from that one mommy and just listen to everybody else. So auditions for being my mommy mentor will commence. Payment in friendship and bottles of wine.

Coming home was a reality slap, I almost had a panic attack last night and I did cry myself to sleep I admit. I am waiting for the full panic attack to strike I can feel it coming, it's building up. I realised I have like 3 months left of pregnancy which I hate but I'm starting to think maybe I can try find a way to keep the baby inside of me. I'm really freaking out, everyone says don't worry it all comes naturally and then proceed to tell me horror stories of motherhood and how it's absolute hell most of the time.

I have changed the date of the baby shower, so I am redoing invitations, all 100, luckily I hadn't handed them out yet and I have so much do still for it. Actually I still have everything to still do. The baby room is coming along really nicely, my mom and sister did an amazing job finishing the murals while I was gone and Darell is coming over on Saturday to finish things up.

Other than that I need to decide on "natural with drugs" (apparently that's not natural) or a "c-section" - I wish you didn't actually have a choice, I wish there was only one way. I feel both choices I make are probably going to end in disaster and both are giving me nightmares.


  1. I would like to audition for the role as mommy mentor. Where do I send my CV?

  2. Becoming a mother is so freaking hard and there is so much advise out there - if someone says breastfeed there is someone saying dont - it goes on like this forever!

    So the only way is to trust yourself, listen to advise and then make your own way like you said :)

    With regard to your birth choice - just be open to all options :) Its really not that bad!

  3. I wish I could transfer all my birth and baby memories over to you because as hard as it is the pro’s really do outweigh the cons in every aspect and unfortunately you only realize this as soon as you become a mommy for yourself. Yes the birth is frightening but the excitement and anticipation of meeting your baby overshadow all the negatives. You’re going to be a great mommy. You’re already fretting and being so concerned, that’s definite mom traits! You’re going to be a natural xoxox